The Importance of Talking to Yourself

Good piece on "self-talk" - Focus On Your Internal Conversation by Kirby Ingles (via Adam Smith)

The clear advantage between someone who is achieving the things they want in life and someone who is not is the momentum they create. Focus is a matter of creating momentum just as much as it is about concentration. The snowball effect can make the difference here. If you missed that post click here.

The way you carry yourself everyday in your life affects your mindset – how you walk, talk, and think. Take some time and focus on what you crave in your life. Your internal conversation about these cravings affects how you carry yourself and feel. Changing how we address ourselves and others can give us power and determination to create a better quality of life. The right thoughts will lift you up.

Find people who walk the walk and talk the talk. These people are those that you admire. You can also find something about them that you desire to create inside yourself. Whatever it may be, you have an urge to do or create.

It only takes five minutes everyday to start creating an internal conversation that convicts you into believing you can have what you desire in life. Successful people do what others will not and I claim that if you do this for five minutes a day for a year, you will have a profound confidence. Do this by making your internal conversation a ritual or habit when you wake up every morning.

Reflect on those people who have had traumatic experiences or abuse in their lives and that turned out fine. Now consider all those that had love, education and everything in life that came easily and are not doing so well. The biggest difference between these two different outcomes is not about what they have, but the meaning in their lives. You and I could have the same experience and different outcomes. The decisive factor in the outcome is that one of us looks at ourselves as a victim and the other as a survivor. Some will look at themselves better off and become stronger in learning from an experience and others will feel less fulfilled.

Being aware of what you say to yourself will affect the temperament you place yourself in. Questions that start with “Why” are knee buckling and make you the victim. Asking yourself questions that start with who, what, how and when, can help you find the meaning beneath emotions and behaviors.

Those who do not achieve are those who do not reach out and dare to dream and act. They will not make an attempt to grow emotionally and spiritually through their experiences and fix their eyes upon being productive.

10 Productivity Habits

10 Habits Successful People Give Up to Increase Their Productivity by Carl Preston at Life

What are you willing to do in order to reach success? It is common among people these days to be average and not stand out too much. But those who are successful do not fall under this category.

In order to stay on top of your game and reach the level of success you want, you need to follow a certain set of self-induced rules. Success is not something that happens by accident; if you want it bad enough, you will get it. Learn the habits that successful people have given up in order to reach their own success.

1. They don’t work in their comfort zone.

What is your comfort zone? Your comfort zone is defined as “A psychological state in which a person feels familiar, at ease, in control, and experiences low anxiety.” When you get outside of your comfort zone, it doesn’t mean that you should strive for a constant state of anxiety and stress. It simply means that, in order to grow, you should try new things and expand your horizons.

The reason we are comfortable in our comfort zone is because we are not taking risks when we are in this state. When we live in our comfort zones, we are living life like hamsters on a wheel, going around and around in a constant cycle, but going nowhere in our lives.

Famous motivational speaker, Les Brown, said it best with, “If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.”

2. They don’t do without first learning.

Learning is what we do best. The greatest thing about learning is the benefit that we receive in all aspects of our lives. Successful people strive to continue learning new things and expanding on things that they already know.

If we stop learning, then the only thing we can do is settle with what we already know; if we settle for that, then there is no way to expand our minds. Expansion is essential on the path to success. Since our minds require learning for expansion, we must never stop seeking new knowledge.

Imagine what would have happened if Bill Gates stopped learning and growing. The internet would be much more primitive than it is today. But because he followed his dreams and continued growing, he founded one of the biggest companies in the world and it is still flourishing and growing today.

3. They don’t fear asking for advice.

Richard Branson, a famous entrepreneur, stated, “When you need to make hard decisions, being able to discuss your ideas with entrepreneurs and business leaders who have solved similar problems can make all the difference.”

Asking for advice is not always easy. We think that we have the same opportunity as everyone else and sometimes feel insecure and dependent, so we decide not to ask for advice, and try to figure it out ourselves. But this could be greatly limiting us from reaching our full potential, because the advice we might be seeking could be something that somebody knows very well.

4. They don’t get lost in the small details.

When life gives us seemingly endless opportunities, it is very easy to get lost in the small details. The small details are very easy for us to become focused on, thus causing us to miss out on the overall vision, also known as the “big picture”.

Focusing too much on the smaller details constricts your ability to see how everything ties together. Much of our lives hinge upon the connections that we make with others and with ourselves. If we get lost in the small detail, it is like having missing pieces to a puzzle. How are we supposed to solve that?

Imagine what would have happened if Henry Ford only saw the small details. When building the company that Ford is today, he knew that he must do something different if his company was to succeed. After many people told him it couldn’t be done, his company continued improving upon the smaller details until they got it right.

Henry Ford didn’t focus too much on the small details, which were the hundreds of times he failed; he saw the overall goal and knew that it could be accomplished. It required seeing the bigger picture to make it happen.

5. They don’t multitask.

Multitasking is typically viewed as a skill that only certain people possess. But truth be told, nobody actually has the ability to multitask. Multitasking is known to actually decrease productivity. Those who are successful focus on one specific task and do that task to the best of their ability without interruption.

Bed Time Productivity

10 Things Productive People Do Before Going To Bed by Luigi Potneza at Life Hack

The most productive people all have certain habits in their daily routines that contribute to their success. They understand that their success starts and ends with their mental and physical health, which is almost entirely dependent upon their habits before bed time.
So, here’re 10 things successful and super productive people do that leads them being in the top 20 percent of money earners in our society

They review their day

Steve Jobs was a strong proponent of living life to the fullest every day. He wonderfully explained this concept when he said: “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.”

All successful and wealthy people, before going to sleep, they think about if what are doing has meaning. At the end of each day, they think about how have positively contributed to the world and review if the goals achieved are in line with their overall vision. Thus, they make plans to track their progress and take notes to put the best in every single things they do.

So today, before going to sleep, review your day because it will force you to clarify what you want and motivate you to take action on your goals.

They write down their thoughts

Emmy-winning talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres used to write down her thoughts, feelings and emotions when she was younger: “Writing is truly cathartic, because it just lets it all out and brings the best out of you”.

Super productive and successful people write down their thoughts, sensations, feelings and emotions. They try to analyze when and why things went right and wrong. They write to improve their communication and thinking skills to be a better leader. So, by writing things down you can help yourself to sharpen your thinking, clear your mind, destroy negative self-talk and pay attention to your most dominant emotions through the day. Journaling may tell you something that you haven’t really paid much attention to about yourself or about your life.

People like Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, Charles Darwin, Benjamin Franklin, Andrew Carnegie, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Winston Churchill kept a diary, so why not giving a shot?

They stick their noses into books

This is the proof that readers are great leaders. Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates is an avid reader. Each night before bed, he spends an hour reading a book, ranging on a variety of topics.

Many successful people in the world are voracious readers. They read at least for 10-20 minutes before going to bed every day and they learn from what others talk about. They expand their know-how to be better prepared to lead and motivate their team and build multimillionaire businesses.

Another big benefit from sticking your nose into a good book on a nightly basis is because reading improve the long term health of your brain.

They set priorities for the next morning

With so many things happening on a daily basis it can be really easy to lose focus on what you are trying to accomplish. That’s why, before bed time, productive people review their schedule and plan for the following day.

They make a list of everything they have to do and before they start working they set priorities on the list. This allow them to go into the next workday feeling better prepared, more confident, and less stressed. Include this life-changing tip in your daily routine by writing down your top 3 to 5 most important tasks you need to do the next day. If for any reason you don’t do this, it should be the first thing you do every morning. And remember, every minute spent in planning saves 10 minutes in execution.

Build A New Habit

I'm spending some time meditating on these ideas - How to Build a New Habit: This is Your Strategy Guide by James Clear

According to researchers at Duke University, habits account for about 40 percent of our behaviors on any given day.

Understanding how to build new habits (and how your current ones work) is essential for making progress in your health, your happiness, and your life in general.

But there can be a lot of information out there and most of it isn’t very simple to digest. To solve this problem and break things down in a very simple manner, I have created this strategy guide for building new habits that actually stick.

Even more detailed information is available in my free guide, Transform Your Habits, but the basic principles mentioned in this article will be more than enough to get you going.

1. Start with an incredibly small habit.

Make it so easy you can’t say no. —Leo Babauta

When most people struggle to stick with a new habit, they say something like, “I just need more motivation.” Or, “I wish I had as much willpower as you do.”

This is the wrong approach. Research shows that willpower is like a muscle. It gets fatigued as you use it throughout the day. Another way to think of this is that your motivation ebbs and flows. It rises and falls. Stanford professor BJ Fogg calls this the “motivation wave.”

Solve this problem by picking a new habit that is easy enough that you don’t need motivation to do it. Rather than starting with 50 pushups per day, start with 5 pushups per day. Rather than trying to meditate for 10 minutes per day, start by meditating for one minute per day. Make it easy enough that you can get it done without motivation.
Further reading: Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals

2. Increase your habit in very small ways.

Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.
—Jim Rohn

One percent improvements add up surprisingly fast. So do one percent declines.
Rather than trying to do something amazing from the beginning, start small and gradually improve. Along the way, your willpower and motivation will increase, which will make it easier to stick to your habit for good.

Further reading: This Coach Improved Every Tiny Thing by 1 Percent and Here’s What Happened

3. As you build up, break habits into chunks.

If you continue adding one percent each day, then you’ll find yourself increasing very quickly within two or three months. It is important to keep each habit reasonable, so that you can maintain momentum and make the behavior as easy as possible to accomplish.

Building up to 20 minutes of meditation? Split it into two segments of 10 minutes at first.
Trying to do 50 pushups per day? Five sets of 10 might be much easier as you make your way there.

Further reading: I’m Using These 3 Simple Steps to Actually Stick with Good Habits

4. When you slip, get back on track quickly.

The best way to improve your self-control is to see how and why you lose control.
—Kelly McGonigal

Top performers make mistakes, commit errors, and get off track just like everyone else. The difference is that they get back on track as quickly as possible....

More ideas at the link. Read it all there.

When Things Go Wrong - Learn and Move On

10 Things Successful People Do When Things Go Wrong, by Robert Locke (via Life Hack)

It is easy to imagine that successful people have always had that magic touch, when everything they do turns to gold. The reality is that they too have screwed up and failed. This article will tell you how they cope when things go pear shaped. If they can get over failure, then so can you. Lots of useful life lessons here.

1. They know how to adjust their goals

Successful people are not going to give up that easily. If X went wrong, it does not affect Y which is the hallmark of their success. They are adaptable, resilient, and determined to go on. That means having a plan B ready so that the phoenix will rise from the ashes.

2. They are realistic optimists

They know that optimism is what counts and their glass is always half full. Research suggests that the realistic optimist is more likely to be successful. In addition, they are grateful for what they have achieved and will concentrate on their successes.

3. They learn from their failure

“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” – Dalai Lama

If successful people fail, it means that they were prepared to:

• move out of the safe comfort zone
• take calculated risks
• experience the joy of growing and fulfilment

When and if they fail, they are able to sit down and assess calmly what went wrong. There is a lesson from every failure and they know how/where to find it, accept it, and above all apply it to future projects.

Bill Gates’ first company called Traf-O-Data was a failure. He was able to adapt and try again with Microsoft and we all know how successful that is.

“Success is moving from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill.

It is interesting to note that Churchill was defeated in many elections until he finally became Prime Minister at the age of 62!

4. They know that failure is a prelude to success

“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”- Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan kept at it and made sure that he perfected his technique. You can do the same by assessing your skills set and see how they can be improved. Or maybe you need to spend more time on networking and building relationships. Is there a way you can take the initiative the next time?

5. They ask for advice

Many entrepreneurs were able to crawl out from the ruins of failure and start again. But some were wise enough to seek advice from friends or mentors. Obviously these have to be the kind of people you would trust your life with. They are also upbeat, confident, and can boost your morale.

Those who make it to the top also know how to get help from their networks and connections, when they want to start over after failure or setbacks.

Undrstanding Context

"All meaning is context dependent" is a phrase that has been very helpful to me. Therefore, I appreciated this article by Joel Gascoigne at Buffer - The Habits of Successful People: They Work To Understand Context. The material below is quoted from the article.

I’ve had a few different experiences in my past that made me reach a big realisation. What I’ve discovered is that the context of any situation is very important.

Hiten Shah clearly already understands this very well. This Tweet from him is what tipped me over the edge to share some of my further thinking around context:

                      Get context before you give advice - @hnshah

Why we should seek context at all times
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood” -Stephen R Covey

The above quote is Habit 5 of Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

I’ve read the book a couple of times, and I’ve read other content around the topic of gaining context, but it’s something which has only just “clicked” for me as to why it’s so important. Also, after now understanding the importance of context, I’ve found it to be very difficult to actually practice.

The premise is quite clear as to how vital context is: without context, we immediately jump in our heads to what we want to say next, based on the very first few words we hear from the other person. This is something I find myself doing far too frequently.
Most of us listen to someone with the intention of replying, and therefore as soon as we have a “reply” in mind, we stop listening and wait our turn to reply. No matter what remarkable new insights are uncovered in the subsequent words from the other person, it is likely that we now have a strong desire to share that initial thought we have about what to say back.

With context, on the other hand, we can achieve so much more. If we truly understand the background of the other person, we can tailor the approach for each occasion. I believe gaining or having context can be useful in so many scenarios:

• giving advice
• receiving advice
• meeting a stranger
• making friends
• getting press
• raising funding

The conversation that shocked me

A while back, I was in a Skype call with someone to try and help them with their current startup challenges.

As normal, I asked about the founder’s startup and what stage he was at. After uncovering a tiny amount of context about his previous experiences and where he was now at, I unfortunately slipped and switched to my own thinking about what the best next steps were for him.

I proceeded to advise him based on my previous experience. The experience I based my advice on was the following:

• I had worked on an idea for a year and a half which I never charged for
• I therefore generated no revenue, and consistently had to work on the side
• While I had a few thousand users of traction, I failed to raise funding

I advised him to charge for his product from Day One, since that worked for me the after the first failure. I also advised him to aim for revenue and not worry so much about user numbers, since that’s what truly freed me from working on the side.

He was very receptive of my advice—even thought it was the wrong advice for the situation he was in. Luckily, he went on to share extra information that changed everything:

• He had a previous startup for which he had hundreds of paying customers and good revenues
• He was still making money from the idea and had runway to last almost indefinitely working on a new idea
• He got into an incubator with the idea
• He went to the Valley to raise funding, but since he had low user numbers (even though they were all paying) he struggled to raise funding

I could now completely understand why, in fact, he shouldn’t just follow the advice I gave him. He had almost entirely the opposite previous experience to me, yet equally valuable and foundation building. He was perfectly poised to try an idea which could gain massive visibility rather than simply making money. Making some money was not his biggest challenge, as it was for me when I started.

Our opposite contexts meant that in fact opposite choices for next steps made complete sense. I was genuinely taken aback when I realised this....

More at the link.