Becoming A Better Communicator

Found this good piece on becoming a better business communicator at Life Hack:  Not A Communicative Person At Work? You Will be After Reading This by Karima Mariama-Arthur. She says:

Are you an effective communicator at work? If not, there’s no shame in admitting this, especially since there’s a lot that you can do about it. Even if you are simply hesistant about speaking up, you can actually add value by learning to become a more effective, engaged, and confident communicator using a few tried and true tips.

Consider the following five ways to hone your communication skills at work:

1. Become a better listener

When people think about becoming a better communicator, listening is usually not the first thing that comes to mind. However, before you can raise your communication IQ, you must first learn to become a better listener. By listening in earnest to what others think, feel, and expect, you can learn to craft your message more effectively. Too often people dimiss this idea and simply focus on crafting responses to what others are saying, rather than listening with the intent to learn and connect more deeply.

2. Focus on connecting with others

We’re humans and by definition, “we’re meant to connect,” says Lucidity CEO and communication expert Michele Gilliam Morrissey. We need human interaction and for reasons that range from biology to sociology, connecting with others is what the survival of our species requires. Social media and technology may have revolutionized the way that we communicate and of course we may even enjoy them. However, they cannot replace the warm, intimate, and interactive conversations that have fueled our need to be connected.

By focusing on connecting and developing rapport with others, you lay the foundation for trust, which allows you to communicate more effectively and capture the undivided attention of your audience.

3. Don’t be defensive

All great minds don’t necessarily think alike. And when they don’t, sometimes conflict can ensue. However, you can make the choice in advance not to become defensive and graciously allow others to express differing opinions without getting upset or lashing out. Also, because maintaining an open, positive, and collegial work environment is critical to supporting the lines of communication, being defensive is actually one of the least effective kinds of postures to assume. It also puts everyone else on edge, which is counterproductive.

4. Begin with the end in mind

Every opportunity to communciate, is an opportunity to become more effective and achieve specific goals. Get clear on which goal you are trying to accomplish before you begin. It’s easy to get sidetracked once an conversational exchange begins, but if you know which points you need to cover – even if you have to write them down – then you will be far more successful than if you haphazardly muddle your way through the conversation.

Additionally, if you begin to run short on time, you have the option of tabling your point(s) until the next available opportunity without sacrificing the meat of the discussion. You will also feel like you are making progress because you are keenly focused on achieving specific outcomes.

5. Step outside your comfort zone

Becoming a more effective communicator may require you to step outside of your comfort zone to become better. Maybe you are used to keeping quiet during critical discussions at work for fear that your ideas may be rejected. But why not begin to speak up and become part of needed solutions, instead of leaving them for others to solve?
Maybe you could benefit from communication training, but fear getting constructive feedback from others. If so, why not encourage yourself to be vulnerable and challenge yourself to grow for the greater good? Your ability to communicate will certainly improve and over time, the process won’t feel so uncomfortable, which is its own reward.....

Read the rest at the link

Conversational Greatness

Here's an excerpt from a great piece by Jason Treu-  How to Start Great Conversations To Make Powerful Connections. Jason Is a former lawyer, and "life mastery coach."

Years ago, I was very nervous to approach strangers and especially large groups of people I didn’t know. I watched some of my friends dive into these situations with ease, and wondered how they made it look so easy and natural. Meanwhile, I found myself awkwardly alone, palms sweaty, clutching a cocktail, and desperately brainstorming witty things to say.

How did I go from being fearful and uncertain in meeting people and starting conversations to confident, energetic and positive?

There are ten key principles on how to start great conversations to make powerful connections. They made a huge difference in how I gained confidence and expertise in meeting new people, creating rapport, and building extraordinary relationships.

By practicing and using the information below, I mastered the relationship building process and mentor others across the world on how to do it.

By the time you finish this article you will learn how to:

• Start great conversations
• Never run out of things to say
• Build instant rapport and connection
• Leave people wanting to get to know you more

1. Delivery Trumps Content

People focus way too much on what to say and trying to say the right thing. Research has found your delivery is much more important than content in building rapport, especially in initial interactions.

It’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it.

People feed off your emotions, energy, and vibe, because you are projecting your thoughts and emotions to them. They feel and see your charisma and magnetism when you do this correctly, and when you are being yourself.....

Read the rest at the link.

Undrstanding Context

"All meaning is context dependent" is a phrase that has been very helpful to me. Therefore, I appreciated this article by Joel Gascoigne at Buffer - The Habits of Successful People: They Work To Understand Context. The material below is quoted from the article.

I’ve had a few different experiences in my past that made me reach a big realisation. What I’ve discovered is that the context of any situation is very important.

Hiten Shah clearly already understands this very well. This Tweet from him is what tipped me over the edge to share some of my further thinking around context:

                      Get context before you give advice - @hnshah

Why we should seek context at all times
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood” -Stephen R Covey

The above quote is Habit 5 of Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

I’ve read the book a couple of times, and I’ve read other content around the topic of gaining context, but it’s something which has only just “clicked” for me as to why it’s so important. Also, after now understanding the importance of context, I’ve found it to be very difficult to actually practice.

The premise is quite clear as to how vital context is: without context, we immediately jump in our heads to what we want to say next, based on the very first few words we hear from the other person. This is something I find myself doing far too frequently.
Most of us listen to someone with the intention of replying, and therefore as soon as we have a “reply” in mind, we stop listening and wait our turn to reply. No matter what remarkable new insights are uncovered in the subsequent words from the other person, it is likely that we now have a strong desire to share that initial thought we have about what to say back.

With context, on the other hand, we can achieve so much more. If we truly understand the background of the other person, we can tailor the approach for each occasion. I believe gaining or having context can be useful in so many scenarios:

• giving advice
• receiving advice
• meeting a stranger
• making friends
• getting press
• raising funding

The conversation that shocked me

A while back, I was in a Skype call with someone to try and help them with their current startup challenges.

As normal, I asked about the founder’s startup and what stage he was at. After uncovering a tiny amount of context about his previous experiences and where he was now at, I unfortunately slipped and switched to my own thinking about what the best next steps were for him.

I proceeded to advise him based on my previous experience. The experience I based my advice on was the following:

• I had worked on an idea for a year and a half which I never charged for
• I therefore generated no revenue, and consistently had to work on the side
• While I had a few thousand users of traction, I failed to raise funding

I advised him to charge for his product from Day One, since that worked for me the after the first failure. I also advised him to aim for revenue and not worry so much about user numbers, since that’s what truly freed me from working on the side.

He was very receptive of my advice—even thought it was the wrong advice for the situation he was in. Luckily, he went on to share extra information that changed everything:

• He had a previous startup for which he had hundreds of paying customers and good revenues
• He was still making money from the idea and had runway to last almost indefinitely working on a new idea
• He got into an incubator with the idea
• He went to the Valley to raise funding, but since he had low user numbers (even though they were all paying) he struggled to raise funding

I could now completely understand why, in fact, he shouldn’t just follow the advice I gave him. He had almost entirely the opposite previous experience to me, yet equally valuable and foundation building. He was perfectly poised to try an idea which could gain massive visibility rather than simply making money. Making some money was not his biggest challenge, as it was for me when I started.

Our opposite contexts meant that in fact opposite choices for next steps made complete sense. I was genuinely taken aback when I realised this....

More at the link.